After 30 years of my father not speaking or talking to my younger brother and me, I had to call to tell my father that his son, my little brother, was dying. During that time, my father reached out to his son who was across the country and myself. We began step-by-step e-mailing and calling. I had to make the call to my father to tell him his son died.

One year later I got a call from my stepmother that my father was dying. I did not hesitate. I got on the plane the next day and flew across the country to be with him and help finish up some of his bucket list. I was his confessor and everything I thought about him was so wrong. He was a lonely and scared most of his life.

However, the first thing he said to me when he saw me was, "I'm sorry..." and I told him not to say anymore it was enough. We both had ideas about who we were and were both so wrong. I am ever so grateful I listened to my heart and not my angry head! He more than I needed resolution before dying. I even hesitated at one point to let him know about my brother but it was not about what I needed when each of them were dying but about what they needed.