My father disowned me when I was in my 20s. It was abrupt, came with boxes of mementos in the mail, and unexpected. We didn't speak and he didn't let me find him for over 20 years. I now live abroad, have a stable income and a full life, and have no plans to leave anytime soon.

My father and I began to reconcile about 5 years ago very slowly with intermittent emails and a couple of phone calls a year. There were starts and horrible stops and then gentle starts again. Now, the plan in motion is for him to move up here to live near me and get to know his only grandchild. Yikes! And Wonderful! It is fraught with nervousness and love.

A few points, my father was never physically abusive. There was never any sexual abuse or even weirdness. He was, however, an angry, controlling, and bitter man for a long, long time. He also had a very difficult childhood. His own father died when he was young and his mother (my Grandma) had very little education. He went into the U.S. Marines at 17.

I have promised all my parents that none of them will ever die alone, forgotten, or stuffed into some awful nursing home to rot - and I mean it. So, I’m in the process of helping him move here. I hope by sharing my story that I can help other parent-child relationships.