My ex-husband and I were married for almost 25 years. By all appearances, we had the perfect marriage, but it a facade. I decided that I would make it work, no matter what. After 20+ years, I gave up. My boys were all adults when I gave up and filed for divorce. They were shocked and angry with me for leaving their poor father and it took a long time to work through.

My youngest son seemed to adapt the best at first, but he became involved with drugs and things got very bad between us. He would only call if he thought he could get money from me and when I refused, he got angry and refused to speak to me for months at a time. After a particularly awful phone conversation, I didn't hear from him for close to a year.

My oldest son told me his brother had been arrested and was in jail. I wrote him a long letter and sent it to him in jail. I let him know that he had hurt my feelings and my stance on giving him money I knew he would spend on drugs, but I also told him I loved him and I always would. I quoted the "Love you Forever" book he loved as a child and told him I would help him if he wanted to get clean.

I'm not sure what was the turning point; seeing it in writing, or being in jail, but our relationship has been much better. He has gone back and forth with addiction, and our relationship is not perfect, but we are no longer estranged and we both make an effort to keep in touch. He is currently clean and we are doing better. Estrangement, especially from a child, is heartbreaking and wore on me every day. I didn't find a magical cure, but slowly, with a lot of patience, it has gotten better.