I am almost 40 years old and my mother has always been a hoarder since I can remember. About 5 years ago, she moved to a new town close to me. She would always come here to visit and would not allow people to her home. Then a few years ago, she had a stroke and her compulsive shopping came to light. She had a foot wide path through her living room, dining room, and couldn't even get into the kitchen.

It took me and my siblings over a month to clean out her house. Due to safety concerns, we never let her go back there. She was angry and hateful. She said and did horrible things to us. Once she got herself a new place and recovered fully from the stroke, she refused to acknowledge any of the things she said or did, instead blaming them on the stroke.

Because of her actions, we all cut contact with her and started therapy. About a year later, I finally let her back into my life on a limited basis. I have the only grandkids and she has zero other family. I do not and will not go to her new home. We have very limited conversations, mostly about the weather or gas prices. Nothing that has emotions. I allow her to see the kids at my home about once a month and she uses that time to try and get emotional with me. But I tell her its her time to spend with the kids, and if she wants to mend fences with me, we can go to therapy, but she just shakes her head no and moves on.

My siblings are still not speaking with her, it’s been 2 years since they have talked to mom. She claims to have no idea why they are upset, and that she's done everything she can do. I stay out of it and do not get involved in their relationship with her.