Our adult son stopped speaking to us and our entire family for four years. This time period involved a now ex-wife and two grandchildren we were not allowed to see. During this time we continually reached out to him via email and birthday cards with checks in them (they of course cashed them).

We live in a fairly small town. When we heard through the rumor mill that he and his wife had separated, we asked a very good friend of his to get the message to him that we were there for him no matter what and would help him in whatever it took.

Because my son knew he was loved unconditionally, he swallowed his pride and eventually called us. Over the next few years, we slowly became a family again and helped him get through a very messy divorce. The grandchildren are very much part of our lives and we are finally able to enjoy them.

This is what I learned form this experience: 1). Don't back children into a corner or make ultimatums. 2). Help financially, if you can, and don't say a word about it. 3). Don't expect or require an apology. 4). Don't try to teach your adult children lessons or get in the last word, there is no point. 5). If you don't agree with the world or society, too bad; suck it up and do and say what they need.

People may not agree with what I think, but what is the most important thing, a reconciled family or not? You have to ask yourself how badly do I want my son/daughter back into my life. I chose to do ANYTHING I could.