My sister is only a few years younger than me, but when she was little, I found her very presence annoying to say the least. I’d like to say our relationship got better as we grew up, and maybe it did a bit. But, generally I had no time for her. She was just an annoyance in my orderly life. We eventually grew up, got married, and had children. We suffered through divorces, financial struggles, and all the other slings and arrows that life dishes up along the way.

Then Dad died when we both had small children. Years later, checking my voice mail messages, I heard my sister’s voice, “Mother is dead!” she cried. She had survived my father by many years, but when she died, we were both in our early 40s. We were now orphans. We drew together then, fumbling along, handling all the regular stuff regarding a funeral and her estate. But Mother was gone and we didn’t have her to guide us through all of it. We only had each other.

We first decided not to sell her house and had a series of renters. Since we co-owned it, the two of us worked out an equitable financial arrangement, and all was well for several years….until it wasn’t. We couldn’t agree on whether or not to sell it. We each felt very justified in our feelings and angry, hurt words were spoken and written. Once the house was sold, we had no more contact with each other. And it stayed that way for eight long years.

During those eight years, I would periodically think of my sister. I would be browsing in the Hallmark shop and see a “sister” birthday card with glowing sentiments about sisters being best friends. I would think to myself, “I have a sister, too.” And then, one birthday, about ten years ago, I got a card in the mail. I immediately recognized the distinctive handwriting and with breath held and heart beating, I opened it. She wrote that it had been “long enough,” and we needed to put the past behind us and be sisters again. I was so happy!

We recently spent time going through boxes of our family photos, discovering ones we’d forgotten about and sharing memories. Somehow, I feel as though having almost lost my sister, I appreciate just how special her friendship is to me.