My brother and I are many years apart in age. He was the youngest in the family until our parents adopted another child. Until that happened, my brother was mom's favorite. If any negative thing happened in the family that affected my brother, somehow it was my fault.
Going forward to when we became adults, my brother married a very nice young lady. Due to his drinking (his own admission) and her meeting another man, they divorced. He then meets a woman who was considered by all to a female bully. A few years go by where she prevented my brother from having any part of our family. This surprised us because up to this time he had been very self-confident, had a great job, and was family oriented. We would visit them as often as possible to keep the connection. It ended up that he would have to ask her if it was okay to see us.
One day I needed to travel to his city for work and I needed to bring my son. My son was a very quiet, well-behaved teenager. I was planning on staying with my brother and his girlfriend for one night. When we arrived I could tell that something was not quite right. There was a ton of tension for some reason. My brother and I stayed up late talking like we normally did when together. The next day, I told them that I would pick up food as a thank you for letting us stay. That evening after work, I again felt the tension. I point blank asked my brother what the problem was. He finally tells me that his girlfriend was angry that I brought my son. He further stated that his girlfriend was still mad from when we brought other family with us many years before. It took me quite a bit of time before I could even remember the incident. When I did, I remembered that they actually camped in their yard and hardly came into their house. My brother had given permission for them to visit.
I became so angry that I told my son we were leaving, which we did. It hurt me horribly not to be able to talk to my brother. Many times I would cry when I would think about him, but felt that he owed me and my family an apology. We attend a yearly festival in their area. He knew this. I saw him there later that year, but did not talk to him because I did not want to cause him any problems because I knew he would get into trouble with his girlfriend.
After a year, I received a beautiful poem about forgiveness. I knew this was his way of apologizing and immediately contacted him. Yup, his girlfriend (they had been together 19 years by then) was angry, but it was at this point that we learned to ignore her and kept in contact. Not much time later, she was trying to control him so much that he literally walked out of her life. After he left her, people could see the old personality come back and we are friends once again. The lasting consequence of this is that my brother still is trying to apologize to me by giving me gifts and making sure we are always welcome at he and his new wife's home.